Love Is A Painful Thing
by Heart Torn Out
Summary: Its a song i wrote about Dean and Castiel. its obviously slash, since that's all i write when it comes to those two. And i wrote it while i was slightly  A LOT  depressed, so pretend you love it to make me happy. I need a pick me up. A pic goes with it.


**Oh,I'm just sitting around, feeling depressed right now. I kind of want to crawl into a hole and die, but it seems frowned upon in our society. Well, at least in mine.**

**So, instead of crying until my eyes bled ( i only did that till they turned red) or banging my head into a wall until it bruised (again, I only did that till it turned red) i sucked it up. Whatever. I'll take a couple of pills and force myself to get over it.**

**I had to do SOMETHING before i did something that i might possibly regret in the future.**

**So i did this.**

**On cafe-de-labeill on livejournal, I saw this picture that LaLaLettie drew. It was of Castiel and Dean sitting outside after a particullary nasty hunt. They're both bruised and cut and Dean has a beer with Castiel just sitting beside him, like they do. And then, Castiel says inncocently:**

**_I am confused._**

**To which Dean answers in that charming way of his:**

**Huh?**

**So Castiel clarifies for his slow hunter and responds:**

_**I once thought love was a happy feeling.**_

**There's this silence then, this pregnant pause that's full of words unspoken as they sit there in the silence with each other. Dean fillay grows a pair and breaks the ice, so to speak, asking gently:**

**And now?**

**Castiel then responds simply and slowly, so Dean won't miss a word:**

_**...At times when I see you, my heart aches...**_

**And that did me in. I got this tune in my head that i couldn't shake and wrote a song. No, this didn't help with my depressed mood. It made it worse if anything else. So be glad I risked it to bring you guys something fluffy and sweet that'll maybe brighten your day unlike it did mine.**

**So here it is, the song inspired by the picture, so its not really my idea, is it? That's great. Makes me feel even BETTER.**

****

Disclaimer: I don't own SPN or this idea, since LaLaLettie on cafe-de-labiell on livejournal made the picture that inspired the song. I also snagged a few of her words and shoved them in. This is the link to the picture:

http:/cafe-de-labiell(dot)livejournal(dot)com/30101(dot)html

Enjoy the product of my depression.

* * *

**Love Is A Painful Thing**

(Verse 1)  
We've been through much together  
For you I'll do whatever it takes.  
But sometimes when I see you  
My heart aches.

I don't understand it  
I don't think I want to.  
I don't think I'll ever get it  
Or am supposed to.

So I'll just leave it  
And do what you ask.  
Although what you ask me  
Is not an easy task.

But I won't tell you that.

(CHORUS)  
I'm just so confused.  
And I don't know what to do.  
I've never felt like this.  
Oh God, I'm a mess.

I once thought love was a happy feeling  
I guess that was a mistake.  
'Cause at times when I see you  
My heart aches.

Sometimes when I see you my heart aches.  
Sometimes when I see you my heart aches.

(Verse 2)  
I'm the one that saved you from  
That place of Death and hate.  
But seeing you looking like that  
Makes my heart ache.

And every time I look in your eyes  
They're so different from your face.  
One is saying that your fine,  
The other that you don't deserve to be saved.

And it bothers me  
When I can't be around  
To take that pain away  
And chase your nightmares around.

But no, I can't make a sound!

(CHORUS)  
I'm just so confused.  
And I don't know what to do.  
I've never felt like this.  
Oh God, I'm a mess.

I once thought love was a happy feeling  
I guess that was a mistake.  
'Cause at times when I see you  
My heart aches.

Sometimes when I see you my heart aches.  
Sometimes when I see you my heart aches.  
(X2)

(Bridge)  
Oh, and don't you know?  
I gave everything for you!  
Because I believed in you,  
And I fought for it.

But, oh!  
This is what you do!  
You give in, you're such a fool.  
And I can't believe it.

'Cause I lost everything.  
And you gave me nothing.  
And I still,  
Oh I still, I still love you.

Can't believe I still love you.

(CHORUS)  
And now I am the fool,  
'Cause I Fell for you.  
And you just realized,  
Boy I can see it in your eyes.

Now, I'm not confused,  
'Cause I know the truth.  
I know love's just a painful feeling,  
Thinking otherwise was my mistake.  
'Cause now every time I hear you calling,  
My heart aches.

Sometimes when I see you my heart aches.  
Sometimes when I see you, my heart aches.  
Every time I hear you, my heart aches.  
Every time I hear you, my heart aches.

You make my heart ache.

* * *

**So. Any questions, comments or concerns?**

**Just throw them all in with your review please.**


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